“Hey Brad, do you think your team trust you?” It felt like it was an ‘out of nowhere’ question

that Brad was not anticipating. But really it wasn’t. Conversing with several people within

the organization, it was clear that almost his entire team followed his lead simply because

he was the boss.

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“Of course they do... why? Did someone say something?” He replied with a look on his

face as though he already knew his team members were chatting about him behind his

back.

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I had asked this question because I had the opportunity to sit in a planning meeting where

nearly no one shared their opinion, and if an idea was presented by Brad, you could hear

the whispers that said, “I was thinking the same thing.” It was almost as though everyone

in the room agreed with him, in an effort remain in his ‘good grace’.

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As a leader, I’ve discovered that a difficult question one must often ask themself is, “Does

my team trust my leadership, or are they just nodding along to avoid conflict?”

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I’ve learned as both a team member, and one who has led teams of paid staff and

volunteers, that true trust isn't built on comfortable silence. It’s developed from hard,

honest conversations. When alignment slips, milestones are missed, or morale plummets,

or even the failure to follow through; the temptation is to micromanage the symptoms. But

the root cause is almost always a gap in trust.

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As a young leader, I had a eureka moment leading a team of volunteers in a youth group;

some persons on the team were old enough to be my parents; to build a successful team, I

had to find the resolve to have difficult conversations, and the absolute discipline to follow

through on them. The fear was, if I did, my team members would be upset and no longer

want to serve on a team with me. I discovered the opposite was true; they simply

respected me more for having those conversations.

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Here’s what's also true; you cannot change the team dynamic until you change your own.

Your immediate first step? Have those hard conversations with yourself. Look in the mirror

and audit your own blind spots. Where have you let standards slide? Where have you

avoided tension?

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Once you face your own reality and have established real accountability; commit to your

team, own your gaps, and bring in a mentor or coach to hold your feet to the fire.

,

Trust doesn't happen by accident. It starts with your own self-accountability. Ask yourself

this question, ‘Am I ready to open the door to the hard conversations today?’

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